I have an unconventional way of holding a pen. It’s a grip that’s evolved without correction, and now, in my 40s, it’s so deeply ingrained that there’s little hope for change. In fact, the bone on my right hand’s fourth finger has even shifted due to this unorthodox grip. It’s all well and good… until I decided to ask for a fountain pen as a Christmas gift this year.
As it turns out, fountain pens are a whole world unto themselves. There are blogs, YouTube channels, and Instagram accounts dedicated to these pens, the inks, the nibs – you name it. I found a comprehensive guide for fountain pen beginners, selected one that caught my eye, and shared the link with John.
When Christmas day arrived, I was excited to unwrap the box containing the fountain pen – complete with an extra box of ink! I eagerly grabbed my journal and set to work.
However, after the initial thrill faded, a problem emerged:
I couldn’t hold the pen correctly. The barrel was designed for a “normal” or standard grip, and the nib had to be positioned in a specific orientation for the ink to flow smoothly. With my unorthodox grip, the nib sat sideways. Whenever I wrote, either the ink wouldn’t flow at all, or it would pool out and smudge.
For three days, I valiantly tried to make it work because I truly wanted to enjoy that pen. Eventually, I had to concede defeat. I explained the issue to John, who made an attempt to exchange it, but the pen company wouldn’t accommodate the request. So, John is now the proud owner of a beautiful fountain pen, while I happily returned to my beloved, trusty Ink Joy gel pens. They fit my hand perfectly, write smoothly, come in delightful colors, and simply work for me.
But why did I ever entertain the idea of switching in the first place?
Well, because I’m human, and that’s what we tend to do.
We’re drawn to things that seem different, new, shiny, fun, or perhaps “better,” and we find ourselves wanting them. Isn’t this what fuels the entire “new year, new you” phenomenon? We see individuals who are fit, successful, stylish, accomplished, wealthy, or any other admirable quality, and we aspire to transform ourselves into those very people.
However, you are not those people. You are you.
Certainly, there may be aspects of your lifestyle that require adjustment to achieve the life you desire, but this doesn’t mean you need to become an entirely new person.
And yet, when it comes to our canine companions, we don’t seek to change them into entirely new dogs.
We cherish our dogs despite their imperfections. We recognize that there are areas where we can work together to help them lead healthier, happier, safer lives. But can you imagine wanting your dog to become an entirely different animal?
Cooper, for instance, demands a great deal of specialized care and attention in terms of his food, behavior, and overall comfort. We invest time and effort into providing him with foods that won’t upset his stomach, helping him behave safely in public, and ensuring his happiness and comfort at home. This involves everything from administering the right allergy medications and feeding him whole foods to applying opaque window clings to block troublesome spots.
We undertake these little steps to enhance our dogs’ lives, not to transform them into new versions of themselves.
It’s about making lifestyle adjustments.
Attempting to convert myself into a fountain pen user didn’t pan out, so I gracefully let it go.
Endeavoring to transform Cooper into a restaurant patio dog would never have worked for him, so I never even contemplated it.
Trying to mold yourself into anyone other than the unique individual you are? Why bother? You’re extraordinary just as you are.
I realize we’re already a couple of weeks into 2022 (how did that happen?!?), and I’m lagging behind in the discussion of New Year’s resolutions or ideas. Nevertheless, may I propose that this year, you strive to treat yourself as kindly as you treat your dog?
Perhaps, this year, make it a goal to love yourself just as you are, just as you adore your dog as they are. If a minor adjustment is needed – perhaps a figurative window cling for your social media habits, a shift towards body-friendly eating habits, more rest, or any other tweak – then by all means, go for it.
And in the process, be as understanding and gentle with yourself as you are with your faithful canine companions.
